Leadership Qualities that Support Mutuality and Collaboration

I am involved with organizations that are always striving to support people growing more skills for making the world more aligned with values of justice and mutuality. We’re figuring out ways to make decisions together and share resources together and everything else it takes to build the social conditions we want. One part of this work is shedding the baggage of what we’re told in a racist, colonial, patriarchal society counts as “leadership.” That model is usually about individuality, competition, and domination. We are imagining and working to practice other ways of leading. I made a chart that I hope is a handy discussion tool in organizations that are thinking about how to live their values. I think it might go well paired with this chart I posted before about qualities of organizational cultures.

Leadership Qualities Supporting Mutuality vs. Hierarchy

Hierarchical Leadership Qualities	Just and Accountable Leadership
Successful by dominating others/being the decider	Supports the growth of decision making processes that include everyone effected by the decision
My way or the highway	Wants to find out how others are doing, what they need or believe, what they want
Self-promoting	Eager to help many people develop leadership skills and share the spotlight
Concerned with maintaining reputation, looking like “the best”, looking “right”	Willing to admit mistakes
Arrogant and grandiose	Humble and dignified
Good at talking and commanding	Good at communicating: sharing and listening
Wins others’ support through status, fear, or because others are climbing	Wins support by being supportive and trustworthy
Certain I’m right	Open to influence and changing opinion
Concerned about reputation of organization	Concerned about organization’s material impact—does it alleviate suffering and increase justice?
Fosters competition in the group	Fosters compassion and a desire that no one is left out of the group
Paranoid	Generous and open to newcomers while holding boundaries
Impulsive—plans change with my whims	Holds steady to the groups’ decisions and purpose; Reliable
Judgmental and exclusive	Can tolerate people being a lot of different ways; sees potential in people to become part of the work for change and helps them develop skills and abilities
Gets sense of self from status	Self-accepting and steady in sense of self, so able to take risks or hold unpopular opinions
Cares most what elites think	Cares most what those on the bottom of hierarchies think and know; works to cultivate authenticity
Needs to be center of attention	Can take the risk of being seen, can step back so others can be seen
Insensitive to others’ feelings	Sensitive and responsive
Tells people what to do	Avoids advice-giving unless asked, instead interested in supporting people to make decisions that align with their values
Seeks immediate gains, even if it means big compromises	Sees the long view and holds to values
Gives demeaning feedback or fails to give feedback or gossips instead of giving direct feedback	Gives direct feedback in a compassionate way
Defensive, closed to feedback	Open to feedback, interested in how I impact others
Controlling, micromanaging	Can delegate, can ask for help, wants more people’s participation rather than more control
Outcome-oriented	Supports processes with integrity that lead to more people participating in decision-making
Seeks and demands comfort	Interested in what can be learned from discomfort, from changing roles or being out of place, from conditions transforming

Ways to use this chart:

Write or talk in your group about what is missing from these lists.
Circle qualities you see in yourself that you are working to cultivate and grow. What might help them grow?
Circle qualities you see in yourself that are challenging or don’t fit your values. What helps you move toward not acting out of those qualities? Where did you learn those qualities? How did they serve you? How did they get in the way of what you want or believe in?
Notice qualities that are prevalent in organizations you are in. What could help cultivate the ones you think are beneficial and reduce the ones that are harmful?